The James Patterson Defense

There is now official evidence that James Patterson's books cause brain rot. The latest soap opera running on Court TV -- Idaho vs. Sarah Johnson -- took an interesting turn this morning. Teenager Sarah Johnson is on trial for murdering her parents because they didn't like the guy she was dating. Sarah's cellmate in detention said on the stand they both loved James Patterson's books because they were "scary" and "about murders." I gotta say, this girl's zombie-like demeanor -- "disassociation," as the Court TV psychologists call it -- was a helluva lot more scary than anything Patterson or the rest of us could ever concoct.