"Heed this advice!" she said desperately
I was sitting in a restaurant the other day when my friend and fellow author, Tom Swift, happened to stop by and ask if he could join me.
"Yes," I said cordially.
He sat down, his eyes slipping secretly to the paperback book lying wantonly near my wine glass. "I see," he said insightfully, "that you are reading a popular author."
"Yes," I said affirmatively, nodding energetically.
"Do you like the book?" he asked inquiringly.
I wasn't sure how to answer. Both of us had just returned from SleuthFest, which was geared for aspiring writers. There was a lot of good advice about plot structure, the differences between thrillers and mysteries, and character building.
My friend wisely picked up on my silence. "So," he said flatly. "I take it you don't like the book?"
"It was hard to read," I said effortlessly.
"In what way?" he asked inquisitively.
"Well, I'm not sure what it was," I said perplexedly.
"How was the plotting?" he asked ploddingly.
"The plot was okay. But it kind of fell apart toward the end," I added brokenly.
"That's too bad," he said sympathetically. "Anything else?"
"The characters were okay but kind of cardboard," I added woodenly.
"Really?" he said shockingly.
"Yes," I acknowledged.
"But the book was a New York Times bestseller," he interjected suddenly, jabbing at the book pointedly. "You are suppose to love the bestsellers. This one got great blurbs. And all the reviewers loved it."
"Well," I said deeply. "I just don't know what it was about the book that I found tiresome but there was something."
Tom Swift gave me a nod of his head, shaking it up and down, and then added a small, understanding smile, displaying his Hollywood teeth. "Well," he said philosophically. "Some books are just like that."
And with that, Tom sauntered away, slowly and casually disappearing into the misty dark inky black night.
I was left with my thoughts -- and that bad book. I was thinking about all the good advice I had heard at SleuthFest. Really good stuff, even a great debate about talent versus technique. But one thing kept coming back to me -- the thing all the good authors stressed. Robert Crais had said it best in his keynote speech: "Adverbs are not your friend.”
He didn't say it lightly. He didn't it dramatically. He didn't even say it succinctly. He just said it.
posted by PJ Parrish | 9:51 AM
10 Comments:
You knocked the point home. Dramatically.
I traded critiques a while back with someone who actually writes like this. She holds an MFA and, somehow, won a contest that gave her a single hardback title from a major publisher.
"You need to ditch the adverbial dialogue tags," I told her.
"They show how my protagonist hears the other characters," she defensively retorted.
Someone owes her a big fat apology for teaching her how to write...badly.
"Mark, you seem to have completely missed the point of this article," Jude bluntly snickered.
"This is hilarious!" I said laughingly.
"They show how my protagonist hears the other characters," she defensively retorted.
ARGH! I would say I can't believe there are writers who really think this way, but then I have seen too many IN PRINT.
You're right, PJ. I won't name any names, but a certain #1 New York Times bestseller writes crap like this all the time. I can't read it, but she's probably lounging on the deck of her yacht right now, sipping a martini and not thinking about her critics much.
Here's a question up for grabs: If you had the chance to be her editor, would you insist that she get rid of all the superfluous dialogue tags? The books sell in huge numbers, so would you dare change them?
I ask this with blue pencil in hand, reaching for my copy of...
Whoops! I promised not to name any names.
So what would you do?
Along with all the "ly" words, I loved "misty dark inky black night."
That was awesome.
It's so funny because I read so many books that have this kind of stuff in them! It's frustrating sometimes, I read this crappy writing that is selling like crazy. I wonder how bad my stuff must be to not get any nibbles.
To Jude:
Well, if I were the editor and didn't want to rock the bestseller boat, I would slowly tone the author down and make subtle suggestions on how to improve her overall writing. Because in the long run, it will extend the author's career. Besides, as an editor, it is MY JOB to make people write better. I get the feeling some editors of bestselling authors abdicate this role at times.
But despite the title of this blog, I AM NOT king so I can't do any of this. I can only control what comes out of my own C drive. That is all any of us can do.
DZ,
Gee, I wish I had the answer. All I can say is don't fall prey to the notion that dumbing down or writing badly will net you more readers. If you set out to tell a good story in the clearest, most affecting way you can, you can't go wrong. We are in the business of entertaining readers, but you don't have to stoop to conquer.
Learn your craft by studying good writers, those you personally like to read, not bad ones. Aspire to be among the best and if you work hard, you'll hit your own mark -- wherever that might be.
Good answer, Kris.
DZ: We're in the same boat, my brother.
"I enjoyed this," she smiled, lurkingly.
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